


What Are You Supposed to Do When...

by cheney1317



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F, USWNT
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-22
Updated: 2014-12-31
Packaged: 2018-02-05 17:01:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1825633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cheney1317/pseuds/cheney1317
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They were the perfect happy family, but something might happen. What are you supposed to do when it does?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> just and idea that came to mind. This is just the beginning so other stuff will get filled in. Let me know what you think

It all started on a Thursday afternoon. 

 

After practice with the Thorns Alex and Tobin picked up their children from school. Thursdays were the days the kids didn’t have any extracurriculars so they usually went home for a snack and then went to the park for a few hours. On that day at the park, Alex sat on a bench watching their five year old son, Michael, play in the sand and her wife pushing their seven year old daughter, Katie, on the swing set. She couldn’t keep the smile off her face as she saw the joy in the eyes of her family with the simple task of being at the park. 

 

Tobin stopped pushing Katie and the seven year old waited for the swing to stop before she got off, but as she did the young girl took an uncharacteristic tumble. Luckily the midfielder was beside her to pick her back up and brush her off. “You okay baby girl?”

 

     “Yeah Mommy I just lost my balance.” the child answered unfazed. They walked over to the bench and the girl sat beside Alex while Tobin plopped down beside Michael in the sand. Katie nestled her head into her mother’s side, “Mama I don’t feel good. Can we go home soon?”

 

Alex told Tobin it was time to leave and she lead Katie to the car with Tobin and Michael right behind them. At the house, Alex started on dinner while Tobin got the kids cleaned up and playing. When the food was ready they each went to get a child. Tobin found Katie laying on her her bed reading a book. After some convincing they made it to the table to eat. 

 

     “Katie come on, eat your pasta please.” Alex said with some frustration in her voice. Through the whole dinner the girl had only had a few bites and was not cooperating with her mothers. “You need to eat more of your dinner or you don’t get any dessert.”

 

     “But I’m not hungry.” she replied, pushing more of the noodles around her plate. She finally took one more bite, appeasing her mother’s wishes. “I’m tired. Can I go to sleep now?”

 

The mothers looked at each other with questioning looks at their daughter’s request. Usually they struggled to get her to go to bed because of all her energy so to hear her ask to go was odd. Tobin took Katie to put pajamas on and Alex did the same with Michael. They got the kids tucked in for bed and said good night to both. 

 

     “That was kind of weird huh.” Tobin said as they settled onto the couch. Alex laid into her wife and pulled a blanket over them. :Katie looked so tired tonight, she is never that tired especially on Thursdays. And did you see the way she fell down.”

 

     “I’m sure she’s fine Tobin.” Alex comforted. “Maybe she is just getting a little bug. We’ll see how she over the next few days.”

 

     “Katie it’s time to get up. You need to leave for school soon.” Alex called out as she entered the room and took out clothes for her daughter. She went to Michael’s room and did the same thing before returning to find a groggy Katie pulling the clean shirt over her head. “Thank you little lady! I need to go help your brother and Mommy is finishing up your breakfast so come on down when you’re ready.”

 

Downstairs Tobin moved around the kitchen preparing breakfast for the family. “Katie we’ve got a lovely cheesy omelet and orange slices for you. Your favorite peach yogurt and a banana for you, big Mike. And for you madame, the ever important coffee, just the way you like it.” Tobin said handing each person their food and passionately kissing her wife. Then she drank her own coffee and went about finishing the kids’ lunches. 

 

     “Okay give Mama a kiss so you can go to your last Friday of the school year.” Alex said enthusiastically when she got the kids buckled into Tobin’s car. “And I’ll see you at the field in a little while.”

 

The drive to school was uneventful. Michael, a very happy child in the mornings, rambled on and on about the crafts they were doing in preschool. Tobin looked in the rearview mirror at a still very tired looking Katie. The girl said she was fine and gave her mother a kiss when they got to school. The midfielder watched her daughter’s face light up as she met up with some friends and walked into her classroom. Then Tobin took Michael to his room and laughed at his independence when he gave her a hug and ran to play. 

 

     “How was getting them to school?” Alex asked when Tobin got to the locker room for practice. 

 

     “Easy as ever. Both of them went right in to be with their friends.” Tobin informed while she changed into her practice gear. “I swear we have the best children in the world living in our house.”

 

That afternoon Tobin went to the school to pick up the kids while Alex had to go to a meeting for Nike. She listened contently to Michael raving about the activities they did that day. When they got home Tobin made a snack then they went outside to play. Tobin and Katie played soccer and Michael played with his trucks. At the end of the game, Katie made a move on Tobin and sent the ball through the goal. Tobin fell to the ground yelling, “GOAL!! Great moves Katie-Kat, you’ve got that one down.”

 

     “Mommy I couldn’t beat you. You totally let me do that.” Katie laughed as she laid down on top of Tobin. “Do you think I can do it at my game tomorrow?”

 

     “I would never let you beat me with a move I taught you.” Tobin pretended to sound hurt by the accusation. “But yes I definitely think you are ready to perform that move on the field. I bet you could even beat your Mama with it.”

 

After a while longer outside that family went inside to have dinner. Tobin made the kids chicken and corn and a salad for herself, and they ate in the family room while watching Frozen. After Tobin cleaned up she return to the couch and put her feet on the table. Katie rested her head on her mother’s lap and Michael snuggled into her side. Soon she could tell both children were asleep she she allowed herself to the songs of the disney movie. 

 

Alex got home from her meetings, finding her three loves sound asleep on the couch. She quickly snapped a photo and uploaded it to Instagram: “Fun night with Mommy!! #myloves.” Then she kissed Tobin on the cheek, waking her. “Long night?”

 

     “No we just played played outside and they crashed after dinner.” Tobin said, lifting Katie’s head so she could stand up. She pulled Alex into her arms and gave her a kiss before turning back to the couch. “I’ll take Katie up if you get Michael.”

 

Both women scooped up a child and went to their rooms. They changed the kids into their pajamas and got them into bed. “Mommy…”

 

     “Hey little one.” Tobin whispered to Katie. She kissed her on the cheek and pulled the covers up around the girl. “Close your eyes and get some sleep. I love you so much.”

 

     “Love you too Mommy.” she rolled over and nestled in.

 

When Tobin turned to leave she found Alex leaning on the door frame. They walked out into the hall and closed the door quietly. “You are so good with her Tobs. You know what?”

 

     “What?” Tobin asked, seeing a look in Alex’s eyes. 

 

     “It’s 9:30 on a Friday night and both of our children are in bed sound asleep. And on top of that I haven’t seen you for hours and I have missed you.” Alex spoke with eagerness, kissing the midfielder. “You know what that means don’t you?”

 

     “I think I do.” Tobin responded, kissing Alex back. She lifted the forward into her arms and carried her to their bedroom for a night filled with love and passion. 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The calm before the storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is kind of long, but I just kept writing. Hope you like it!  
> I will update my other fic before I do this one again

“Aunt Lauren!” Michael yelled as he ran through the airport to the curly haired midfielder. The family had just flown in for camp and Lauren was picking them up. 

“Hey little guy. How’s my favorite five year old?” she picked the boy up in her arms and waited for the others catch up. Alex had most of their bags while Tobin was practically dragging Katie behind her. Lauren set Michael down and pulled each of them in for a hug. “Hey guys, I’ve missed you. How are you doing Katie?”

“Good.” the girl perked up a little when the soccer player started talking to her. “Guess what? My soccer team won the championship last weekend. And I even did a trick like Mommy and scored a goal like Mama.”

“I heard you did awesome.” Lauren responded as they walked to the baggage claim. “You know a little birdie told me that you are going to play just like them when you grow up.”

“I hope so.” Katie laughed. They waited for their bags to come and then walked to the car, but Katie noticed someone missing, “Where is Kayleigh at Aunt Lauren?”

“She stayed with the other kids while I came to get you.” Lauren informed them. The two girls were about the same age and loved when they got to se each other. “You’ll get to see her when we get back.”

When they got to the hotel the family got settled in their room and then met up with the other girls. It was like a big family reunion when they got together because most of them hadn’t seen each other since the victory tour. The kids all ran off with Kelley and Pinoe while the adult sat and caught up on soccer and life. 

“All the kids are getting so big.” Sydney pointed out when she joined them. “It seems like yesterday when we only had Rylie and Reece running around and the rest of them were babies.”

“Yeah and now there are children running around everywhere.” Kelley out as she was mobbed by them. “And they are getting too big for me to fend off.”

Everyone laughed at her misfortune and continued to talk until it was time for dinner. Afterwards the soccer players had to go to a team meeting so some of the staff stayed with the kids. During the meeting Jill takes about how this was the first real camp since the Olympics and how proud US Soccer was to bring home another gold. She told them that the next year or two was going to be similar to after the last Olympics, when they do more player development and spread out camps. 

When they came out of the meeting many of the kids had settled down in small groups. Michael was playing with Ryan and Madden so Tobin went over to check on them. Alex stayed back to talk with some of the girls, but excused herself when she saw Lauren walking over with Katie asleep in her arms and Kayleigh following her. “I guess someone couldn’t hang after the long day of travel.”

“I can see that.” Alex smiled at the sight, rubbing circles on Katie’s back. 

“Mama,” Katie said groggily, putting her arms out for Alex. She nestled her head in the crook of the forward’s neck and grasped the back of her shirt. “I’m sleepy Mama.”

“I know baby.” Alex looked at her watch and it was still relatively early, but she just assumed the long flight form Portland and the excitement of seeing their friends had wiped her out. “Come on let’s get you upstairs.”

“We lost her pretty early tonight.” Tobin stated as she walked into the room with Michael in her arms. She put the boy into bed and joined him soon after. “See you in the morning Lex.”

The next day the team left early for morning practice. Katie and Kayleigh sat together on the bus, talking about things going on at home. Michael sat on Tobin’s lap unit they arrived at the field, then all the kids went with sitters while the women practiced. 

After a long practice the team returned to the hotel for lunch and then a lifting session. When they were finished Katie came running to Tobin, “Mommy, Mommy, Abby said she would go to the pool with me and Kayleigh! Can I go please?”

“Yes you can go.” she said trying to get the girl to calm down. She got Katie into her suit and abby met them in the hall. “I’ll be down soon.”

“You going down too?” Lauren asked as Tobin walked into the elevator. The midfielder nodded and they went to the pool. There they could hear the joyous screams of their daughters and some of the other kids as Abby chased them. “Tobin can I ask you something?”

“Sure Cheney.” Tobin replied nonchalantly. 

“Is there something going on with Katie?” the woman asked quietly. Tobin looked at with confusion on her face. “I mean she just seems a little different to me, more tired than usual. Maybe I’m seeing things.”

“No you’re right she has been pretty tired lately.” Tobin agreed. “We got a little worried, but her pediatrician said it could just be growing pains. Have you seen any issues with Kayleigh?”

“No she’s been fine.” Lauren sensed the worry in her friend’s voice. “I’m sure she is fine, probably just the effects of your little girl growing up.”

“Don’t say that Chen, you make me feel old.” Tobin joked. They sat for while watching Abby tossing a ball with the kids, but Katie seemed to be struggling. “Look she can’t even catch the ball. I’m not saying she is some super star catcher, but it seems like her coordination is going down.”

“It could just be her hand-eye coordination.” the older woman stated. “You said yourself that soccer seems to be her sport.”

“Yeah you’re right.” Tobin said at the statement. They stayed for a bit longer until the kids were wiped. Everyone had an early night and retreated to bed after dinner. 

The next day was Michael’s birthday and he had woken up early so Tobin took him downstairs. Alex and to get Katie up and dressed so they could go to practice, but the girl was testing Alex’s patience. “Mama my head hurts.”

“Okay you can get some medicine at breakfast.’ Alex answered. “Now perk up, it’s your brother’s birthday and we are celebrating after practice.”

Downstairs Michael was being treated like a king. He was surrounded by all the girls and rambling about something. Tobin left him to give kisses to her girls, “Our son is quite the ladies man.”

“He is a little charmer.” Alex laughed. They sat Katie down at another table and got breakfast. “Come on Katie eat.”

“I’m not hungry.” Katie shot back. “I don’t feel good.”

When practiced had ended, Kayleigh walked a crying Michael over to his mothers. “What’s wrong big Mike?” Tobin asked, kneeling down in front of them. 

“Katie pushed me down.” he answered through his tears. Then they saw one of the sitters bringing Katie over. 

“Sorry I had her in time out.” the woman apologized. 

“Don’t worry about it, if that’s what you thought should have happened.” Alex said, looking sternly at the little girl. “Katie can you tell us what happened?”

“We were playing and I fell down because of Michael.” Katie dropped her head. “So I pushed him back.”

“Katie you know that wasn’t nice.” Alex scolded. “Now apologize to your brother.”

“Sorry Michael.” she said and Alex walked away, trying to get the boy to calm down.

“Mrs. Heath,” the sitter called out as they waked to the bus. “I just wanted you to know that I saw what happened and your son didn’t push Katie. He was near her, but she fell on her own.”

Tobin took what the woman had said into consideration and continued to the bus with Katie. Back at the hotel Christie helped Tobin Bake cupcakes for the party and Alex took the kids upstairs. Katie never said a word and when they went back down she immediately went to Kelley. The freckled told woman said she’d keep an eye out for her and they got to the party. 

All the women sang to Michael while Tobin and Christie brought out the cupcakes, a larger one just for the birthday boy. Everyone wore hats and had noise makers and Michael was loving it, but Katie wasn’t and she began pulling Kelley’s arm. “Kelley let’s go play somewhere else. The noise is hurting my ears.”

From across the room, Alex could see Katie acting up with Kelley. She took a breath and went to investigate. “What’s going on over here?”

“I want to go play with Kelley somewhere else.” Katie whined. “My head hurts from the noise.”

“Katie stop.” Alex demanded, pulling her aside. “It’s your brother’s birthday and I don’t appreciate you trying to get attention.”

“I’m not.” the girl started to cry and stomp her feet. Tobin saw the scene unfolding and went to help. “Is something wrong Katie-Kat?”

“Yeah she’s throwing a tantrum during Michael’s party to get our attention. “ the forward huffed. “I’m going back with him, Maybe you can get her to calm down.”

“How about we go upstairs for while.”Tobin led them up to their room and finally got Katie to calm down. “Now can you tell me what’s the matter?”

The little girl explained what she had told Alex and Tobin eventually managed to get her to fall asleep, just before Alex brought Michael up. Tobin could see that she was still annoyed so she let her do her own thing and they went to bed without many spoken words. 

In the morning they made it to open practice without too many struggles. The players got in a productive pre game practice before they spent some time with their fans. Many of the kids were running around the field with various players. Katie tried to get Alex to come play with her, but the woman was trying to sign autographs. “Katie Mama is busy. You can stay with me or go play, but be careful running around.”

As the players began to gather their things to go to the locker room, Alex’s eyes found Katie just as she slipped going for a ball. The seven year old cam up crying with blood on her knee. Alex immediately went to her daughter. “Hey it’s alright, you just got it a little cut on your leg okay.”

“It hurts Mama.” Katie cried. Alex went to the first aid kit to get a bandage and cover the wound. “Can you kiss it ti make it feel better?”

“Of course.” the forward’s heart melted at the request and all her frustrations from the previous day seemed to go away as she kissed the injured leg. “You know I love you right.”

“I know Mama.” Katie then sent her body flying into Alex’s, taking her to the ground. They both laughed and Katie rested her head on her mother’s chest. “I love you too.”

From the other side of the field Tobin saw the embrace. She whispered into Michael’s ear and they both went running to the girls. The family all shared in laughs as they rolled on the ground. When they finally made it up, the kids ran ahead while Alex and Tobin shared a kiss and walked, hand in hand, into the locker room. 

“Katie, Michael come on you have to get dressed.” Alex called out as she laid their jerseys on the bed. “We have to leave for the game soon.”

“Mama are gonna score lots of goals today?” Michael asked cheerfully pulling his Morgan-Heath jersey over his head. 

“I’m going to try bud.” Alex replied with a laugh. Then she noticed a look on Katie’s face as she hot ready. “Katie what’s wrong?”

“I don’t want to go to the game.” she stated, then dropped her head. “I don’t feel good.”

“Well you don’t feel warm.” Alex said in frustration as she felt her forehead. She was starting to get tired of the girl’s antics. “Listen Katie, every time you say this you don’t have anything wrong with you. We can’t leave you here so you need to put your big girl face on so we can go to the game.”

When they got on the bus, Tobin saw that Alex was sitting with Michael beside her and Katie was a few rows back. She slid in with the girl, but could tell she wasn’t in the best mood. “What’s up little lady?”

“I don’t feel good.” Katie answered, teary eyed. “And Mama doesn’t believe me.”

“Oh baby don’t cry.” the midfielder comforted. she too felt her daughter’s head and noticed there did happen to be some slightly dark circles around her eyes. “Well you’re not warm, but that doesn’t mean you don’t feel well. I’ll tell you what, be a sport for me during the game and when we get back we will order a movie and curl up in bed.”

“Okay my little munchkins come give your Mama and I good luck kisses.” Tobin said as the kids were all leaving the locker room. “We’ll see you after the game.”

“Lex,” Tobin began once they were gone. “I don’t know what’s up with Katie, but you need to be a little more understanding with her. Katie thinks you don’t believe her.”

“Tobin she’s not warm and she’s just been acting out for attention.” she countered. It was clear that they weren’t going to agree, “Okay I’ll work on. Now let’s go win this game.”

They put their differences aside and played a great game. By half time the US was up 2-0 and Tobin had assisted Lauren’s goal. During the second half Tobin got free on the outside and sent a ball in to Alex, who sent it into the back of the net. They found each other and then got mobbed by their teammates. 

“Mama you scored!” Michael squealed as he ran into her arms after the game. 

“Good game Mommy.” Katie hugged Tobin and tried to sound happy, but she wasn’t fooled. 

The team did their cool downs and moved around the stadium signing autographs and taking pictures with fans. Tobin was on the other end of the stadium when Alex tried to keep the kids close. “Katie come on, stay with us.”

The girl stayed where she was on the bench. Alex approached trying to get her to come, but when she grabbed Katie’s arm the girl flipped. “Ouch Mama, don’t touch me!” Tears immediately fell from her eyes as she swatted Alex’s hands away. 

“Katie Ann what has gotten into you? You do not hit people.” Alex yelled quietly, trying not to cause a scene. Katie didn’t respond, she just kept crying and struggling against her mother’s grip. She eventually got free and tried to run to Tobin. 

The midfielder felt a small body hit her back, but when she turned her face dropped at the sight of Katie’s tear stained face. She knelt down, but all Katie would say through her sobs was that she hurt. Tobin looked up to see an angry Alex walking over, but before she could say anything Tobin picked up the crying girl, covering her head with her own hand, and walked to the locker room. 

“Katie you remember when Mama and took you to see the doctor?” Tobin finally got Katie to settle down and she nodded at the question. “Well he said you are growing and that can make you hurt and not feel good. I know you don’t feel great, but we need you to try and be strong.”

The two embraced in a hug and Tobin set her down in her locker and threw her coat over her. Then she pulled out her phone and headphones for Katie to occupy herself while the team showered and changed. When Tobin got out of the shower she found Katie curled up, asleep in the locker. She packed her bags and carried the sleeping girl to the bus, avoiding Alex until they could talk in the privacy of their room. 

“Alright so what is going on?” Tobin asked after she laid Katie in the bed and they were in the hallway. 

“After the game she wouldn’t come with me and when I went to get her she screamed and hit me away.” Alex explained. “She’s just got some growing pains Tobin. We can’t baby her.”

“I agree that we can’t baby her, but we have to be there to comfort her. She needs to know we are here for her.” Tobin could see Alex calming down as they got on the same page. 

Tobin decided to stay upstairs with Katie so Alex could go be with the team for dinner and to hang out. After a little while Tobin heard a knock on the door. “Lauren, what can I do for you?”

“Well just because you’re up here doesn’t mean you shouldn’t eat dinner.” she handed the younger woman a plate of food and came into the room. “How is she?”

“Fine I guess.” Tobin took a bite of food. “Although I don’t remember growing pains being like this.”

“Mommy,” Katie rasped out. Both women stood and wen rover to the bed. “I’m cold and I don’t feel good.”

“Okay can you sit up for me.” they both noticed that she definitely did not look well. She had darker circles around her eyes and she was sweating. When Tobin helped her up she winced. “Sorry baby. She’s burning up Lauren.”

Lauren felt Katie’s forehead too and moved her hands down, stopping on her neck. “What is this?”

“I don’t know, I’ve never noticed it before.” she said as she felt the bump. 

“Ow Mommy” Katie started crying and neither of them could get her to stop. 

“Shh, Shh. It’s okay.” Tobin tried to comfort her. “We are going to take you to get a doctor.”

The young midfielder picked up Katie and Lauren followed them downstairs. When they got to the lobby some of the chatter stopped when they heard the crying and looked at the two with worry in their eyes.

Alex was talking with Sydney and Kelley, but the conversation ended when they heard labored cries. Alex stood as Tobin and Lauren approached, not knowing what was going on. “Alex something is wrong!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> finding out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took so long. Please excuse any typos I just wanted to get it up. Hope you like it

     “Katie we need you to hold still so the nurse can look at you okay.” Tobin spoke calmly. Katie continued to whimper, but stopped moving enough for the nurse to continue. “She is going to listen to your heart now.”  
  
Tobin held the little girl on her lap the whole time the nurses were checking her vitals. Alex stood behind them, scared to move. When they were done they hooked Katie up to an iv and got her in a bed. Once the medicines started to work she stopped crying and was able to fall asleep.   
  
     “Tobin what happened?” Alex asked frantically when they went into the hallway. “She seemed fine when we got back to the hotel.”  
  
     “I don’t know Alex.” Tobin said in a raised voice. When she realized she had yelled, she lowered her voice right away. “I don’t know. Cheney and I were eating and when she woke up she was burning up. There were dark circles around her eyes and I could barely even touch her because she was in so much pain. So no I do not know what happened, but I do know this is not growing pains.”  
  
     “Oh so this is my fault.” Alex yelled with anger filling her voice. “It’s my fault because I didn’t believe her.”  
  
     “No, no I’m not saying that.” Tobin responded, exhaling heavily. She rubbed her face and turned around for a moment. She she faced Alex again she touched her arms soothingly. “Let’s just wait for the doctor and see what they have to say.”  
  
An hour later the parents sat silently in their daughter’s room. Even though it was the middle of the night, neither of them could sleep until they knew what was going on. Soon a blonde, bubbly looking woman walked into the room. “Hello, I’m Dr. Robbins, head of pediatric care, and I’ll be the lead doctor on Katie’s case.”  
  
Alex and Tobin introduced themselves to the doctor and watched as she went over the girl’s chart. Before she could say anything Alex got impatient, “So what’s happening to her?”  
  
     “Katie’s blood pressure is a little high and she is showing some signs of an infection.” the doctor explained calmly. She then moved to feel the bump on Katie’s neck as well as several other areas. “I’m going to have a nurse come take some blood and do a full medical history and then we’ll see from there.”  
  
     Dr. Robbins,” Tobin called out as she was leaving. “Do you know what is wring with our little girl?”  
  
     “Not yet.” she comforted. “There are some red flags, but I want to do more tests before we have any reason worry. I’ll be back in a little while.”  
  
Over the course of the next hour, nurses came and drew some of Katie’s blood and they went through an extensive set of questions regarding medical history. By the time they were alone again Katie had started to wake up. It was still the middle of the night so Tobin slid into bed with her to try and get her back to sleep. Meanwhile Alex stepped out to call the girls and check on Michael.   
  
Dr. Robbins came in a few minutes later and saw that Katie was awake. “Hi Katie, my name is Dr. Robbins. How are you feeling?”  
  
     “I don’t feel good.” she responded groggily. “And my body hurts a lot.”  
  
     “Okay well this nice nurse is going to put some magic medicine into your iv that will make you feel better.” the woman said in a soothing tone. “And it will help you get back to sleep.”   
  
By the time Alex got back from her call Katie was asleep again so they stepped into the hall with Dr. Robbins. “We did the blood test because I wanted to check the hormone levels. The test did show elevated level of some hormones.”  
  
     “So what does that mean?” Alex cut in.   
  
     “Generally those elevated levels could lead us to certain illnesses, but I’d like to do a ct scan before anything.” Dr. Robbins explained, but the mothers weren’t convinced.   
  
     “Dr. Robbins please don’t beat around the bush with this. We want to know what is wrong with our daughter. “ Tobin spoke frankly. “You have an idea of what could be wrong so can you please tell us what you think it is.”  
  
     “The results of Katie’s blood test are consistent with something called a neuroblastoma.” the doctor informed them. She spoke in simple terms so the women would understand  and so she felt like a friend. “Katie is also showing some of those symptoms and it is more common in children. I want to run the ct to confirm and from there we will see what to do next.”  
  
Both women stood in shock. Their hands found each other’s for support. “I am sorry to drop this in you, but I can assure you I will do everything I can for Katie. A nurse will be in shortly to take Katie for the scan.”  
  
     “Oh my God.” Alex finally muttered once the doctor had left. “What do we do?”  
  
     “We wait.” Tobin replied, trying to sound strong. “We wait and see what the scan says.”  
  
Katie was gone for a while and Alex and Tobin waited anxiously in the room. Neither had any idea what to do and they were just trying to process everything. Tobin couldn’t help but look up the illness on her phone. She was horrified by the things she found and prayed their daughter would not be subjected to the terrors of the disease. She was brought from her thoughts when the door opened and Katie was rolled back in.   
       
     “She looks so small, so frail.” Alex pointed out. She sat at the side of the bed and held the small hand. Tobin slid back into the bed and held Katie close, trying to protect her from the world. No one spoke, they stayed where they were, hoping the results would be okay, as sleep found them.   
  
     “What did you find?” Alex asked as she wiped the sleep form her eyes.   
  
     “The scan revealed a mass in Katie’s neck and chest.” the woman answered. Alex and Tobin each let out worried breaths, knowing that wasn’t good news. “Now we need to biopsy the tissues to see what we are dealing with.”  
  
     “So she has a neuroblastoma, or whatever you said earlier?” Tobin tried to confirm.   
  
     “More than likely yes.” Dr Robbins regretted to say. “I’m very sorry to say that it is more than likely a neuroblastoma.”  
  
     “So what’s next?” Alex needed to know the plan. “You biopsy the masses and then what?”  
  
     “Well if the results confirm a neuroblastoma then we have to test to find out how far it has spread.” she said. “Then we will know what stage she is in and how we proceed with treatment.”  
  
     “When are you going tone done testing her?” the midfielder cut in. “Since we’ve been here all you have done is stick her with things.”  
  
     “I am sorry Mrs. Morgan-Heath, but these things have to be done.” the doctor tried to get it across. “Once we finish these tests she should be done for a while, but it will still be several hours, I’m sorry.”  
  
They watched from outside the room as people came and went for the biopsy. Alex had to turn away when they started sticking her with needles. When they were done a nurse spoke to them, “Once we know the results Dr Robbins will do more tests to see how far it has progressed. Katie should be asleep for a while.”  
  
This time it was Tobin who couldn’t stay in the room. She left Alex with Katie and walked down the hall, pulling out her phone to call her best friend. “Lauren I need you.”  
  
She sat in the hallway with her head in her hands until she felt a tap on her shoulder. Tobin looked up and was relieved to find the curly haired midfielder holding her sleeping son. She immediately pulled Michael into her arms and held him as tight as she could.   
  
After a few minutes Lauren finally broke the silence. “So what do you know so far?”  
  
     “Her blood showed elevated hormone levels so they did more tests and scans.” Tobin sighed, speaking softly so not to wake the boy in her arms. “They found masses in her chest and neck. They just finished taking biopsies, but they are pretty sure it’s a neuroblastoma.”  
  
Lauren didn’t respond, she was trying to process what she had just heard. Tobin stood and walked a few steps with Michael. She released another deep breath, unsure of what to do. “She was in so much pain Lauren, and now all she is doing is being poked and prodded with needles. She’s just so tired and she doesn’t deserve this.”  
  
     “I know, I know.” Lauren brought Tobin back to her seat. “We need to wait for the results and then we’ll see what we do next. We have to take this one step at a time.”  
  
They stayed in the hall for a while. Tobin let her head rest against the wall and one arm held Michael close while the other was tightly interlaced with Lauren’s for support.  
  
Alex sat with Katie, her mind racing, until she was brought from her thoughts by Dr. Robbins. “Can you give me a minute to get my wife?” She walked down the hallway until she came upon Tobin and Lauren. “Tobin, Dr. Robbins is ready for us.”  
  
Tobin didn’t respond, but Lauren took Michael out of her arms so she could go. The women both asked Lauren to join them and they all went to Katie’s room.   
  
     “The biopsy results did confirm the neuroblastoma.” Dr. Robbins said sorrowfully. All the women’s eyes widened and Alex’s hand immediately found Tobin’s. “Now we have to figure out how much of the body is affected.”  
  
Lauren could see that her friends were too stunned to speak. “And how do we do that?”  
  
     “I’d like to start with a bone marrow biopsy to see if the cancer has spread to her bones.” she responded. “Then we will do more scans to see how extensive the masses are and exactly where they are. This will all help us determine what stage neuroblastoma she is in and if surgery is an option.”  
  
     “Do whatever you need to do to treat our daughter.” Tobin finally spoke. The doctor left to get the things she needed for the test. They could see that Katie was starting to wake up so they all went to be with her.  
  
     “Mommy,” Katie mumbled. Tobin was quickly by her side. “Where are we?”  
  
     “You’re in the hospital baby.” Tobin spoke softly. “Remember you didn’t feel good so we brought you here to feel better.”  
  
For the next few minutes Tobin explained things to Katie like why she was sore and had tubes in her body. She had to explain why the girl didn’t feel well and why her mother’s looked so scared. The midfielder kept the answers short and simple so Katie would understand. They decided not to tell her anything major until they knew all the answers.   
  
     “Alex we have practice in a few hours.” Lauren said while Alex was playing with the now awake Michael. “I think we need to tell the team what’s going on. You two need to be here.”  
  
     “Can you call Jill and het her to come down here?” Alex responded. “She should know first and decided what do do about the team.”  
  
Dr. Robbins returned and Lauren took Michael with her to call the coach and get some food while they did the procedure. Nurses prepared Katie while the doctor explained what was going to happen. “Katie is going to be awake for this. We gave her something to relax her, but it is going to be very uncomfortable. I need you to be there to keep her calm.”  
  
Alex and Tobin let out weary breaths as they prepared themselves. Katie was positioned on her stomach with one mother one each side of her head. Dr. Robbins finished preparing the area and then they were ready. “Okay Katie this is going to feel weird, but you are strong and I know you can do this. Hear we go.”  
  
Outside the room Lauren played with Michael until the coach arrived. The boy played intently with his toys while Lauren explained what was going on. They watched through the window, with worry etched on their faces, as the procedure began.   
  
The girl did well for the first few minutes but then things started to get painful. As the doctor out more pressure on Katie’s hip she grimaced with pain and squeezed her mothers’ hands. Soon it became unbearable and tears fell rom her eyes. “Mommy make it stop.”  
  
     “Katie-Kat I know it hurts, squeeze my hand.” Tobin rubbed her cheek soothingly. She was focused on being strong for her daughter and not letting her own emotions take over. “It’s almost over.”  
  
     “Okay we’re all done. You did awesome Katie.” Dr. Robbins said cheerfully, in hopes to lighten the mood. She turned to the women before leaving. “That was the hardest part and the rest is just scans. Hopefully we’ll have a plan by the end of the day.”  
  
     “Thank you Dr. Robbins.” Alex said while Tobin calmed Katie down.   
  
Katie succumbed to the pain and medication soon after the doctor left. Then they stepped into the hall to discuss the rest of the day. Jill agreed that they needed to be there, but also wanted the team to know. Tobin said she would go back with them and Alex would stay with Katie.   
  
     “Ladies Tobin has something important she needs to say.” Jill quieted the room of soccer players. “Please give her your attention.”  
  
     “As you know we took Katie to the emergency room late last night. They got her stable and ran some tests.” Tobin spoke strongly, refusing to let her emotions waver. “They found masses in her neck and chest. The test results gave us a diagnosis. Katie has neuroblastoma.”  
  
The room was silent so she continued, “We don’t know all the details yet and we have to wait for more results. Alex and I will not be at practice today and we wanted you to know why.”  
  
Still no one spoke, but eventually Christie stood and wrapped her arms around the smaller woman. Soon the whole team was standing in one big hug. As the dispersed each woman offered support and made plans to go to the hospital. Tobin thanked them and made her way to the door as they got ready for practice.   
  
     “Hey big Mike,” Tobin knelt down in front of the boy. “You’re going to stay here with Aunt Lauren and the girls.”  
  
     “Why Mommy,” he whined. “I want to go with you.”  
  
     “I know but I have to go be with Katie so Mama and I can make her feel better.” the mother explained. “Besides you are going to have a lot more fun here.”  
  
After he finally agreed Tobin gave him a kiss and left him with Lauren before heading back to the hospital. When she got there though, she could tell something wasn’t right with Alex.   
  
Tobin found Alex in Katie’s room, frantically typing on her computer. There were papers scattered all across the room and post-its on the walls. When Tobin tried to stop her, Alex pushed her hand away and continued.   
  
     “Alex what are you doing?” she asked.   
  
     “I’m researching Tobin. I found all this information about neuroblastomas and the most effective ways to treat it.” she rambled. To Tobin, the forward sounded hysterical  and she wondered if it was from a lack of sleep or shock, or both. “And I think I have figured out a plan. Here look,”   
  
     “Alex stop,” Tobin interrupted. She removed Alex’s hans from the computer and faced her, ,seeing bloodshot eyes. “Alex you are exhausted. You haven’t slept in more than twenty-four hours and when was the last time you ate?”  
  
     “I’m fine.” she tried to sound convincing. “I just need to figure out what to do.”  
  
     “We don’t even have all the results yet.” Tobin replied. “We have to wait and hear what Dr. Robbins says.”  
  
     “I can’t just sit here Tobin.” Alex snapped back then turned turned towards the girl. “Katie is just laying there helpless.”  
  
     “Katie is sick and we have to wait for all the information before we can act.” the midfielder reasoned. “This is one of the things that happens with can-“  
  
     “Don’t say it!” Alex didn’t let her finish the statement. Then Tobin noticed the forward’s emotions begin to waver. “Don’t you dare say it.”  
  
     “Alex I know how you are feeling, but we have to accept it.” Tobin spoke with such love and understanding. She took Alex’s hands again and pulled her close. “Our daughter has cancer.”  
  
Alex didn’t speak as tears threatened to roll down her cheeks. When Tobin attempted to hug her she tried to retaliate with her fists, but was eventually pulled into strong arms and she broke down. “How did this happen Tobin?”  
  
     “I don’t know Lex.” the older woman held her crying wife close. At that moment all they could do was hope and pray that everything would be okay and think about what was to come.  
  
 _They don’t tell you this could happen when you are going to become a parent._  
  
 _What are we supposed to do when we find out the unthinkable?_  
  
 _For now all they could do was wait._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what did you think?


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> rough time of it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the wait. you don't want to know how crazy my life has been. Hope you guys like it!

Tobin sat on the small couch in the hospital room with Alex curled into her side. It had taken a while but she eventually got Alex to eat something and fall asleep. Now it was just Tobin with with her two sleeping girls, as thoughts clouded her mind.   
  
Her thoughts were interrupted when a middle-aged nurse came in to check Katie’s vitals. She apologized when she saw she had walked in on them, but Tobin told her not to worry about it. She watched as the woman gently cared for her daughter and was grateful for the loving care she used to look after her. “She seems strong. Children are resilient. Have faith that everything will be okay.”  
  
The midfielder thanked her for the kind words and was again left to wait. About and hour later she got up and left the room to stretch her legs. She walked until she came to a window and saw that it was raining. The weather seemed to match her emotions as she watched the drops hit the ground. Soon Tobin found herself on the cool tile floor and she felt her eyes drifting while she listened to the rhythmic beat of the rain.   
  
     “Mrs. Morgan-Heath,” Dr. Robbins tried to wake the mother. She was on her way to deliver some news when she saw her against the wall. “Why don’t you come with me, I was just headed to see you.”  
  
     “What do you know?” Tobin asked after she was back on her feet.   
  
     “I think we should wait until you are back with your wife.” the doctor responded and the way she said it only made Tobin more nervous.   
  
Tobin woke Alex up and they met Dr. Robbins in the hallway to hear the news. The demeanor of the doctor told them the news didn’t look good. “We have the results of the bone marrow biopsy and scans, and I am sorry to have to tell you this but Katie has stage IV neuroblastoma.”  
  
     “Oh my.” was all that Tobin could muster as the mothers stood there in shock.   
  
     “I know this is a shock and your reaction is completely normal, but we do need to develop a treatment plan for your daughter.” the doctor said.   
  
Alex seemed to be in a trance and was not responded so Tobin stepped up. “What do we need to do?”  
  
     “I would recommend we do surgery to remove as much of the tumors as possible.” Dr. Robbins spoke calmly so she wouldn’t stress the women out. “Once we are able to see how much the cancer has spread we can try to get as much as we can. Then a combination of chemo and radiation is what I suggest.”  
  
Both Alex and Tobin looked through the window at their sleeping daughter. They took a minute to to talk it through and although it was a terrible decision to have to make, they both agreed. “Do whatever you think needs to be done to save our daughter Dr Robbins. She’ll be ready for surgery whenever you can do it.”  
  
They were left to be with Katie while the staff worked to get her into the operating room. The girl soon began to stir and Tobin was immediately by her side. “Hey little lady, how you feeling?”  
  
     “I’m tired Mommy,” she whispered and grabbed her mother’s arm. “Will you lay with me?”   
  
Alex watched as her wife held their little girl close. It became too much for her to look at, so she got up and left the room. Outside a nurse informed her that Katie would be taken to sugary in the next hour or two. When she turned to leave she saw her friend walking to her. “Lauren what are you doing here?”  
  
     “Practice is over and I came to see how things were going.” she answered. “Besides I couldn’t just there not knowing. Everyone is on edge.”  
  
     “It’s not looking good Chen.” Alex spoke softly. “They said it’s stage IV neuroblastoma. Dr. Robbins is taking her to surgery soon.”   
  
The midfielder pilled the younger woman into a hug to comfort her. They stayed that way for while, until Tobin came and found them. “Lex a nurse is prepping her to go back soon and Katie is asking for you. I explained some of what is going on.”   
  
The forward went in with their daughter and the other women stayed outside to talk. “Tobin I am so sorry, I can’t even imagine what this must be like for you. What can I do?”  
  
     “Just having you here for us is the most I could ask for right now. Your support is what I need.” She rubbed her eyes sleepily, trying to focus. “I think Alex is struggling. She kind of went crazy earlier, I thought I was going to lose her. And I really miss Michael.”   
  
     “I’ll keep and eye on her too.” Lauren replied. “Would it be alright if I called some of the girls and they can bring him to you. I know they’d like to be here too.”  
  
Tobin gave her confirmation and they sat in the hall until Dr. Robbins came to take Katie back. They all gave kisses and hugs and words of comfort to the scared girls, but it was only Tobin who could calm her. “It’s okay Katie-Kat. You’re going to be just fine. Dr. Robbins is going to try and make you feel better and we will see you really soon.”  
  
The women were met with the open arms of their teammates. Hugs were shared and Michael ran straight into Tobin’s arms. She held the little boy as tight as she possibly could because she never wanted to lose him. Alex gave him a kiss, but refused to hold him. She went to the waiting room with the girls and their long wait began,   
  
     “Mommy what’s going on?” the boy asked innocently. “Where is Katie?”  
  
     “You know how when you get sick and don’t feel good, and Mama and I tell you about the bad guys who make you feel yucky?” Michael nodded his head. “Well Katie had a lot of bad guys in her body right now so she is really sick. She is in surgery because the doctors are trying to help her fight the bad guys.”  
  
After Michael semi-understood what was happening, the two continued to talk about whatever random things came up. This was just what the mother needed in her time of distress and it was a welcome distraction. Eventually Michael nestled into his mother, with his head in the crook of her neck, and fell asleep. Not long after, Tobin gave in to her fatigue and joined her son.   
  
     “Hey Tobs.” Amy gently nudged the sleeping midfielder. She opened her eyes and sat up, rubbing away the sleep. “Hey I just thought you should start waking up. Hopefully they should be done soon.”  
  
Tobin looked at her watch, not realizing how many hours she had been asleep. She shifted the sleeping boy and stood so she could get her blood flowing. As she moved, she noticed how somber the room looked. When they got to Alex, she barely looked up form her phone. “Lex will take Michael for me? I need to use the bathroom.”   
  
     “Not right now Tobin.” she didn’t even make eye contact, she stayed distant. “I have too much stuff to do, I’m busy.”  
  
     “Here let me take him for you Tobs.” Kelley stepped in and eyed the forward suspiciously. “I’ll watch him for a while.”  
  
When she returned from the bathroom, Tobin saw Dr. Robbins approaching. They all stood and hoped for some good news. “Katie made it through the procedure, that’s the good news. We removed some very large masses from her neck and chest. Unfortunately there were some we were unable to reach. From here we will het her started on a chemo and radiation cycle by tonight. It will be a tough road, but Katie is a fighter.”   
  
Once the doctor was gone, Alex went into overdrive gathering her belonging. Everyone looked at her in confusion. “Lex what are you doing? We should go see her.”   
  
     “No Tobin there is too much to do. I have to find people to help, something to help.” Alex spoke frantically as she tried to leave, but Tobin stopped her. “I have to leave. We need to find someone to treat her.”  
  
     “Alex stop! Katie is getting treatment right now.” She tried to pull Alex in close. “We are staying right here.”   
  
     “No!” A;lex yelled and pushed Tobin away. She proceeded to leave the rooming, leaving everyone stunned. After a few moments Tobin snapped, grabbing a chair and hurling it across the room in anger. Before anyone spoke, Tobin left the room to be with her child when she woke up.  
  
The sight of the girl made Tobin’s stomach flip. She looked so small and frail with the bandages engulfing her torso. Tobin carefully slid into the bed and held her close, thinking about what was to come.   
  
 _What are you supposed to do when all seems lost, and you feel all alone?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think or where you'd like it to go from here.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I apologize for the lack of updates but school has been kicking my butt. I know this isn't my best piece but bear with me and I hope it's ok

The next day, Tobin stayed stayed at the hospital while the team had practice. No one had seen Alex since she ran off, and they were starting to worry. At practice the girls were warming up when they saw the forward jogging to the field. She talked with the staff for a few minutes and then proceeded to put her boots on and joined the team.   
  
     “Where the hell have you been?” Kelley scolded her teammate. “No one has heard form you in hours.”  
  
     “Drop it Kel.” Alex deflected. She could feel the eyes on her, judging her. “I don’t want to hear it from you right now.”  
  
Practice was awkward to say the least, and everyone was relieved when it was over. As they got on the bus they made plans to go to the hospital, but Alex kept quiet. At the hotel, Lauren got ready and then went to her friend’s room to talk to Alex and put a bag together for Tobin.        
  
     “Can I come in?” she asked when Alex opened the door. Once she was in, she started packing and gave Alex a moment. “Alright Alex what is going on with you? No judgements, just talk to me.”  
  
     “I don’t know what i’m doing Lauren.” the forward said in a whisper. “I feel so lost and scared. I have never felt this way before and I don’t know what to do.”  
  
     “Alex this is an impossible situation and no one expects you to be a calm, collected super-mom right now.” the midfielder spoke with compassion. “But your family needs you now. Tobin is hurting and she needs your help. And I know a certain little boy who is downstairs right now and could really use some loving from his mother.”  
  
The younger woman took her friend’s words to heart for a moment and then began helping with the packing. The women were soon at the hospital, Lauren with Michael and Alex slowly walking toward the room. She entered the room quietly, seeing both of her girls asleep. After a few moments of pondering she finally nudged her wife, “Tobin,”  
  
The midfielder jumped at the sudden contact and quickly stood as if preparing for action. When she realized who it was she looked on in confusion, no words coming to her mouth.   
  
     “I brought you some clean clothes and some stuff form the hotel.” the forward spoke softly. Tobin set it down without a word. “I was hoping we could talk.”  
  
The couple walked down the halls for a while before anyone spoke. Finally Alex had had enough of the silence. “Tobin I-I, I am so sorry I left you.”  
  
     “Why Alex,” Tobin began as she turned to face the younger woman. “What is going on with you?”  
  
     “I got scared.” Alex confessed. She slowly reached out and grabbed Tobin’s hand as tears came to her eyes. “The world felt like it was crumbling around me and I didn’t know what to do. I can’t lose her so I ran. I didn’t mean to hurt you and I am so sorry.”  
  
Tobin felt her heart breaking at the sight of her wife. She pulled her into her arms, trying to calm her down, she had her Alex back.   
  
     “How’s our girl doing?” Alex asked once she had composed herself.   
  
     “We had an interesting night. She was pretty confused and in some pain when she woke up, but I got her calmed down. She slept almost through the night even with the chemo.” Tobin informed Alex. “She is doing okay now, but with all the chemicals, they say things could start getting bad. I’m sure she would really like to see you though.”  
  
They went back to Katie’s room and found her beginning to stir. Alex slid in beside her and when she opened her eyes, the little girl’s face lit up as much as it could, “Mama!”  
  
     “Hey my sweet angel how are you doing?” Alex gently rubbed her daughter’s cheek. Before she could answer, Katie’s face paled and she threw up in the bed pan beside her. Alex held her hair and hoped it would end soon, she hoped. “It’s okay. It’s all be over soon.”  
  
Tobin and Lauren went into the room a while later and found Katie asleep on Alex’s chest. The routine continued throughout the day, Katie throwing up several more times. Dr. Robbins told them it was normal for Katie to react to the chemo like this and warned that it would probably get worse with the start of radiation tomorrow. Lauren decided to take Michael back to the hotel for the night so her friends could sooth their daughter.   
  
The next morning Tobin stood outside the window, watching as the machine spun around her little girl, putting poisonous radiation into her small body. She knew they had to accept it because things would only get worse from here. Alex her with coffee for the both of them and they waited for the treatment to be over. When they went back to the room, the oncologist joined Dr. Robbins and they talked about the effects and what to expect with the coming weeks. There was a very long list of things they had to look out for and they were beginning to feel overwhelmed.   
  
In the coming days they began to see the side effects of the treatment and it worried them that this was just the beginning. The team had a game that day and Tobin and Alex watched the game from the hospital room while Katie sat in Tobin’s lap. She seemed to be feeling okay for the time being and she was enjoying watching all her aunts play her favorite sport. By the end of the game, Katie was all cheered out and she had fallen asleep in Tobin’s arms.   
  
     “Mommy, Mommy! Look what I got!” Michael came running into the room showing off his new foam finger he had gotten at the game. Upon hearing their loud son, Alex flew out of her seat to quiet him.   
  
     “Michael Joseph you need to be quiet.” she scolded as she grabbed his arm and pulled him out the room. “Can’t you see your sister is trying to sleep. She is really sick and she needs to get her rest.”   
  
     “Ouch Mama you are hurting me.” Michael screamed and ran to the group of girls that had formed in the lobby. Alex let him be with them so he could settle down. When she returned to the room Tobin quietly told her wife that it had been unnecessary for the reaction. Alex ended up leaving the room  to take a walk and clear her head.   
  
That evening Lauren stayed with Katie while the others went back to the hotel to pack. They were all happy to be returning home, especially Alex and Tobin. Dr. Robbins had set them up with an pediatric oncologist at home, but they also made appointments to come back and do treatment with Dr. Robbins because she was excellent with Katie and they trusted her.   
  
The next day they finally got everything packed up from the hospital and went to the airport with the team. Katie was in a wheel chair Alex couldn’t help but notice the people staring. She wondered if this was going to be their life now along with caring for their sick daughter.   
  
By the time they arrived at their house, the family was exhausted. They got things put away and passed out on the couch watching a movie. It was the first normal thing they had done since they left. Tobin carried Katie to her room, and Alex took Michael. As the midfielder laid her down in the bed she was disheartened when she noticed the already sickly look she had about her.   
  
     “This is crazy.” Alex spoke while they got into bed. “I can’t believe this is happening.”  
  
     “I know Lex,” Tobin agreed. “None of this was supposed to happen. Things are just going to be different now, but we’ll get through it.”  
  
They laid in silence, holding each other close. Eventually Tobin heard Alex’s breath even out as sleep found her, but that never happened for the younger woman. Thoughts ran through her mind of what the coming days would bring. She worried about what would come, about what it would bring to their family, to their future, most most of all she feared what it would mean for their daughter’s life. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know if you have ideas.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> trying to figure things out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this is somewhat good.

Tobin awoke with a startle. It was the middle of the night and she could hear a ruckus down the hall. She got out of bed and went to Katie’s room, finding the girl throwing up over the side of her bed. Tobin rushed to her side grabbing the trash can that Katie had missed. After several minutes Tobin began the tedious task of cleaning up the mess. 

 

     “I’m sorry Mommy.” Katie apologized with a weak tone. “It was dark and I couldn’t find the trash can and then it just happened."

 

     “Hey don’t you worry about a thing baby.” Tobin comforted as she cleaned. “It was just a little accident and we will get this all cleaned up and get you in the bath okay."

 

The midfielder took a few more minutes to clean the room and then she carried Katie to the bathroom and started to run the warm water. As she cleaned her little girl she was mindful of her central line, careful not to bump it too much. When she was finished, she grabbed a towel to take Katie out. “No Mommy I don’t want to get out, it’s warm in here."

 

Tobin stood up and took off her shirt so she was in just her sports bra and shorts and climbed into the tub, pulling Katie in close and letting the warm water cover them. Eventually the water began to cool and Tobin could feel Katie starting to shiver. Katie refused to let Tobin leave her, so the woman was forced to get out of the water with Katie in her arms. The task proved easy, as Katie had lost a lot of weight since she had started treatment. Tobin quickly wrapped herself and Katie in towels and got Katie dressed in some warm clothes. 

 

     “Mommy I want to stay with you.” the little girl pleaded when Tobin tried to lay her in the bed. The mother covered her in a blanket. She carried her down to the guest room so they wouldn’t wake Alex. Tobin laid down in the bed with Katie laying on top of her. “I love you Mommy."

 

The midfielder could barely keep her composure as she heard Katie whisper those words and grasp her shirt tight. “I love you too peanut. I love you so much.” She held her daughter close, listening to her breaths even out, but sleep never found her. It had only been a month since Katie had been diagnosed and started treatment and Tobin already felt like they were losing an impossible battle. She offered every prayer she had for the life of her little girl. 

 

Tobin woke up pretty early after only a couple hour of sleep and took Katie back to her bed. She made herself a cup of coffee and then went to check on Alex. When she got to their room, Alex wasn’t there but Tobin knew where to find her. Alex was on the computer in the office, looking at various things on Katie’s disease. She kissed her on the head and asked, “What are you doing up Alex?"

 

     “Couldn’t sleep.” Alex responded without looking away from the computer. “Too much running through my mind."

 

     “How about you give it a rest for a while.” Tobin hated when Alex would get lost on the computer in thoughts about how to fix their situation. “Come on I’ll make you something warm to drink."

 

     “You go,” Alex deflected. “I’ll be down in a few."

 

Downstairs, Tobin made Alex a cup of coffee and sat at the table to wait. Her eyes were heavy from the lack of sleep in the last few weeks so she laid her head down for a minute.

 

     “Tobin, Tobin wake up!” she jolted awake at the sound of her wife’s voice and gave her a questioning look. “You fell asleep two hours ago. You need to get Katie moving and take her for treatment and I’ll take Michael for his play date then I’m going to practice."

 

Alex was out the door with Michael before Tobin had any time to argue. She quickly got ready and carried a sleeping Katie to the car. At the hospital they were greeted by the usual nurses and friendly faces as they made their way in. Katie went through another round of radiation before she was hooked up to the chemo. Her oncologist, Dr. Riley, came in to check on her while she was getting treatment. He did a work up and ran tests. He wanted to treat some of the radiation burns on her skin and mentioned that Katie’s weight was down dramatically. 

 

     “Mrs. Heath I think it’s time to consider a feeding tube.” he said as they spoke in the hallway. “Because of the drugs Katie hasn’t been eating as much and she is vomiting more so she isn’t getting the proper nutrition fight this disease."

 

     “Do whatever you think is necessary to give her the best chance.” Tobin responded. Though is was tough process, they had the tube in before the family went home. 

 

When they got home Tobin put Katie to bed again. Alex still hadn’t returned so she talked to Lauren on the phone until she heard the back door open. Tobin was a little angry that Alex was just now getting home. “Where have you been?"

 

     “I went to practice and then some of us stayed after to shoot more and get a lift in.” Alex said nonchalantly. “Then we were hungry so we grabbed a bite to eat. I didn’t think it would be a big deal since you were at the hospital."

 

     “I can’t even believe you Alex. In what world do you think this is okay?” Tobin was having hard time containing her emotions. “While you were out I was at the hospital with our daughter. Did you even bother to check your phone? I called you and do you want to know why, because now Katie has a feeding tube down her nose because she can’t keep enough down to get the nutrition she needs to fight this illness. So yes I was at the hospital while you were out having a good time, but don’t worry we were fine."

 

The forward had no words. When she finally tried to defend herself Tobin stopped her. She told her wife to save it and she walked out the door, saying she was going to pick up their son. On the way she called her friend back and ranted about the events of the day. At the end Lauren told her she was going to come visit. Tobin tried to tell her not to, but secretly she was glad for the company. 

 

A week later, Tobin and Katie had just gotten back from treatment. Katie was napping, Michael was playing in his room, and Alex was somewhere upstairs doing something. Tobin was cleaning up the house when she heard a knock at the door. “Lauren,"

 

     “Tobs,” the curly haired midfielder engulfed her tired looking friend in a hug before she could say anything. She was immediately worried be how small Tobin felt and looked. “Gosh I’ve missed you."

 

They went to the guest room so Lauren could drop her bags. When she came out of the room, Lauren found Tobin picking up toys in the living room. They went to the kitchen and Tobin tried to make them something to eat. 

 

     “Tobin sit down.” Lauren cut in when she saw how tired Tobin was. She switched places with her and got busy making them sandwiches. “How are things?"

 

     “As good as they can be I guess.” she answered, letting out a sigh. “Katie’s been having a rough time with the treatment and things only seem to be getting worse?"

 

     “How are you holding up?”Lauren asked, knowing her friend had avoided the question the first time. “This can’t be easy for you and Alex."

 

     “We are handling it I guess.” she took a bite from her sandwich, thinking of what to say next. “I mean I take Katie to her treatments and do things around here. Alex seems to be dealing differently. I’m not sure."

 

     “Where is she?” the older midfielder cut in. 

 

     “Probably upstairs doing stuff.” she replied. “I don’t know, whatever it is she does up there. She was at training this morning so she might be sleeping."

 

     “What do you mean whatever she does up there and why is she going to training while you’re taking Katie to treatments?” Lauren spoke with misunderstanding in her voice. “What does Alex do, Tobin?"

 

Before Tobin could answer, she felt something inside her that was off and she got up to go upstairs with Lauren right on her heals. As the climbing the steps they could hear the muffled cry of the little girl and screams of Michael as he ran out of her room. They were shocked when they saw Katie bleeding and looking extremely pale. Tobin went into super mom mode and was immediately cleaning Katie up with Lauren’s help. They couldn’t get the bleeding to stop and decided they needed more experienced help. 

 

     “Alex!” Tobin called from their daughter’s room. After many more yells the forward finally appeared, rubbing sleep from her eyes. When she saw what was going on she didn’t move. “We are going to the hospital. You need to find Michael and see if he is okay and get him calmed down. Can you do that?"

 

Lauren drove Tobin’s car while she sat in the back beside the scared little girl. In the emergency room they finally got the bleeding under control and admitted to a room. Dr. Riley told them that her blood counts were low and that was the cause of the bleeding, also Katie had a slight infection so they were putting her on iv antibiotics and doing a blood transfusion to get her counts up. The women sat in the hospital room while Katie slept, waiting for some good news. 

 

     “Tobin let’s walk,” Lauren had some things she needed to know and didn’t want to risks waking Katie. “What is going on with Alex? From what you have said and what I saw today, it doesn’t look like she is helping much around the house."

 

     “I don’t know what is going on.” she admitted helplessly. “She doesn’t sleep at night. I wake up and find her always on the computer. She always leaves during the day to train and then she tries to take naps. She always says she has too much going on in her head. So no I have no idea what is going on with her, and yes it is frustrating, but she is my wife and I need to let her deal in her own way."

 

     “But you need help Tobin.” Lauren countered. “In the fews hours I have been here I haven’t seen you stop once. You are running yourself into the ground, you’re thinning out, and you are not taking care of yourself. I can’t imagine what this is like, but I do know that you need help and Alex has to be a part in this."

 

The two walked around for a while before they went back to Katie’s room. When Dr. Riley returned he told them what to expect, “With the transfusion, Katie’s blood counts are returning to normal. This sort of thing will probably become common as her treatment progresses. Her radiation burns will also worsen and with how she is now, I’d expect she will soon be too weak to walk or do much of anything on her own. She still has six more weeks of radiation and chemo and it’s going to be difficult, but we need to focus on just getting her through it so we can make her better after that."

 

Back at the house, the midfielders played Katie down on the couch and went to the kitchen. Alex had left a note saying she took Michael to the zoo to distract him. Neither of them really knew what to do. “Cheney talk to me about you guys. Tell me something to distract me."

 

     “Well Kayleigh is doing fine, enjoying her summer. Jrue is doing well and his team is playing great, we miss him sometimes though.” she had more to share but wondered if now was the time. Tobin saw her apprehension and urged her to share. “We have been trying for a while now, but have had some trouble but I guess it finally happened. I don’t how you will take this but I’m pregnant."

 

     “Cheney that’s wonderful.” Tobin exclaimed, pulling Lauren into a hug. “Don’t you ever think this is bad news because of what we are going through. I am so happy for you guys. When are you due?"

 

     “Not for a while, we just found out.” she said. “I’m due in March. Gosh I can’t wait to give Kayleigh a little brother or sister.” 

 

They talked about things for a while, until Alex and Michael got home. The boy clung to Tobin and she took him to his room to explain what had happened. Alex and Lauren stayed downstairs and Lauren finally spoke. “Alex I don’t know what’s up so I am just going to say it, you need to snap out of whatever funk you are in. You’re leaving Tobin out to dry and it’s killing her."

 

     “I don’t know what you are talking about.” Alex tried to play dumb, but she knew she had been slacking recently.

 

     “Cut the crap Alex, you know exactly what I’m talking about.” Lauren whispered. “You have a responsibility to this family too. You can’t make Tobin do all this stuff."

 

The forward was tired and didn’t take to being accused. She felt like she was contributing and she wasn’t going to let her friend walk all over her. “I am doing ‘stuff’ Lauren.” She emphasized the quotes. “You have no idea what goes on in this house or the toll this is taking on us. I do whatever I can and I will not have you come in here and tell me I need to step it up.” With that she grabbed her keys and walked out the door, slamming it behind her. 

 

     “Told you I didn’t know what was going on with her.” Tobin came down the stairs with Same right behind her. He ran past her and jumped on the couch while Tobin put a movie in for him. “I need to get started on dinner, any requests?"

 

     “Yeah I have one. I’mm cooking tonight.” Lauren insisted, moving the midfielder out of the kitchen. “You go sit down on the couch and watch a movie with your son. You can even fall asleep if you want, lord knows you need it."

 

     “Thanks Chen.” She was so grateful for her friend. She cuddled up with Sam and she soon fell into a deep sleep.

 

Hours later, Tobin opened her eyes and saw that Michael was watching a new movie. She sat up, rubbing the sleep from her eyes, and saw Lauren out on the deck. Outside she could hear faint whispers and found her friend with Katie in her arms as they sat in one of the chairs. As she quietly approached them, Tobin could hear them talking about their scars. Katie was lightly tracing the midfielder’s scar while Lauren rubbed her back, and it brought tears to her eyes that her daughter was experiencing something that gave these to her. Why was this happening to her?

 

     “Aunt Lauren I’m getting cold. Can we go inside?” Katie admitted, pulling her beanie down over her ears. Lauren stood to go inside and they saw Tobin standing there. Katie’s face lit up and held her arms out for her mother. “Mommy you’re awake!"

 

     “Come here princess.” she took the girl in her arms and sat on the couch. She could see that Katie’s day was catching up with her as her looked heavy. After a few minutes she wondered where Lauren had gone. “Cheney what are you doing?"

 

     “Dinner is served.” the midfielder pulled out a meatloaf and some mashed potatoes from the oven. She made each of them a plate, even a small one for Katie to try and eat. They moved to the table to enjoy the meal together.

 

     “Katie why don’t you try and eat some potatoes for me.” she knew it would be good to eat something but the girl was not cooperating, she was tired and didn’t have the energy to try and eat. Finally Tobin pulled her onto her lap and resorted to scooping small spoonfuls of the potatoes into her mouth. She got a couple bites down before she began to nestle into her mother. Tobin gave up and held Katie close to her until they were done eating. 

 

     “Come on little man it’s time for bed.” Tobin had a sleeping Katie in her arms and Michael obliged, following his Aunt Lauren to his room. Tobin put Katie to bed, changing her clothes and giving her all the necessary medicines and leaving her with a kiss. She went and said goodnight to Michael and then headed down stairs. 

 

     “He went down just fine. He’s a good kid and he’s got his moms to thank for that.” Lauren said as she poured each of them a glass of wine. She looks up and sees Tobin’s lip trembling and eyes watering. “What’s wrong Tobs?"

 

     “Nothing it’s just things have been so hard and Katie is only getting worse, and having you here has been such a blessing.” she wiped the tears from her eyes, trying to be strong. “I don’t know what to do Chen."

 

     “Tobin I am going to say something and I know exactly how you are going to react.” Lauren said nervously, but she knew it needed to be said. “I think you need to do what is best for your daughter now. Do you want to know what she was talking about when I had her this afternoon, Dr. Robbins and Seattle. She was telling me how much she loved the doctor and how much they were helping her. Tobin I think that is what’s best for her now.” 

 

     “What do you mean?” she knew what her friend was saying though. “You think I should take Katie to Seattle.” 

 

     “I think for now that is where she will get the best treatment and you will get the most support for her. It has been harder for you since you got home and you are running on fumes.” she hated saying those words. “I know it will be hard, but you will get what you need there and Katie needs every chance she can get. Alex can stay here with Michael and she will get the opportunity to help, but not be too close to it."

 

     “What are you supposed to do when things aren’t looking up, when things are only getting worse?” Tobin asked. Lauren didn’t have an answer for her, she just grabbed her hand to offer support. Tobin knew what she had to do. “I guess you do the best you can with what you have. For now, I think you’re right, Seattle is what we are supposed to do."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let me know what you think


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> had a request for an update. This is what I have and its unedited. Sorry guys I'm just super busy. I need some ideas to maybe finish this.

     “I’m looking for Dr. Robbins.” Tobin was standing at the front desk of the hospital with Katie in her arms, a back pack on her back, and a duffel in her free hand. It had been a long day of travel getting to the hospital, with a couple of meltdown downs mixed in. The nurse paged the doctor and they took a seat in the waiting room. 

 

As they waited Tobin noticed Katie was uncomfortable. She refused to leave her arms and when the midfielder kissed her forehead she could tell the girl had a fever. She was grateful when she saw the blonde doctor approaching them and she stood to greet her. “Dr. Robbins, it’s good to see you."

 

          “It’s good to see you too Mrs. Morgan-Heath.” she was happy they were there. She had heard that things weren’t going great and she wanted that to change that. She should tell Katie was uncomfortable and tried to rub her back, but the girl squirmed to avoid her touch. “How’s this little one doing?"

 

     “Please, it’s Tobin.” the mother corrected. “Things have been better haven’t they little lady. Sorry she’s got some pretty sore burns from the radiation, and she’s tired from today."

 

The doctor lead them to a room and the girl changed and was admitted. She ran several tests to updated labs and see where they would begin. Before they were done, Katie threw up, delaying the process a bit. When they were done, Dr. Robbins gave Katie to medicine to make her more comfortable, and the women went outside to talk. “Tobin, how long are you planning on staying?"

 

     “As long as we need to so she gets better.” Tobin replied. “Is something wrong?"

 

     “Katie isn’t responding to the treatment how we’d like to see. Her body just isn’t strong enough to do it on her own.” Dr. Robbins explained. “She has about three more weeks until she finishes her first round of treatment. If it all possible I’d like to have her stay here so we can care for her as things continue to worsen."

 

Tobin nodded in understanding and left to call her wife. It was the first real conversation they were having since Tobin had told Alex she was taking their daughter to Seattle. They both agreed they needed to stay as long as it took, and Alex would make plans for her and Michael to come up soon. There was an awkward silence before Tobin finally spoke, “I’ll talk to you soon, Lex."

 

It had been two weeks since they had arrived in Seattle and Katie was only getting worse. She was unable to do anything on her own and her body was deteriorating. Tobin ran into the hospital from her usual morning run, not surprised that Katie was still sleeping. She grabbed a syringe with medicine in it and pushed it into the girl’s central line. She kissed her daughter’s forehead and then saw the doctor enter the room. “Good morning Dr. Robbins. How’s my girl doing this morning?"

 

     “Good morning Tobin. Katie’s numbers are holding steady and I hear that she made it through the night okay. We’ll see how she’s doing after treatment later today and then we’ll have the therapist come in and try to get her moving.” Dr. Robbins explained to the mother. It had been a rough two weeks, but Katie was still hanging on and today she hoped for some regeneration in their spirits. She moved closer to Tobin to tell her. “Your wife is here. She is downstairs in the waiting area."

 

Tobin stiffened up at the mention of her wife. Alex and Michael made the trip up to Seattle to see Katie before Michael started school in a week. Tobin tried to steady her breath and collected herself before following the doctor to the waiting area. She saw Micael playing with a toy car and Alex scrolling through something on her phone. The midfielder pulled up, taking another moment. Dr. Robbins noticed her hesitation and put a steady hand on the small of her back. Michael looked up and saw his mother and ran to her. “Mommy!” She bent down and picked up her son, spinning him around with tears in her eyes, never wanting to let go. Little did she know that before she had moved, her wife saw the exchange between her and the doctor. 

 

The family walked to Katie’s room with Tobin holding Michael in her arms. Katie was just starting to wake up and there was a nurse changing her iv. Tobin gave Michael her phone to play with and she lead Alex out to explain what was going on. “Things have been pretty rough. Katie can’t do much, she is basically dependent on us for everything now. She’s got radiation in about a half hour and then chemo after that. She just has one more week to get through and then it’s all about getting her healthy again, but Dr. Robbins says she’s a fighter. And I can say, Alex, she is excited that you’re here. She’s been talking about it all week."

 

     “You look tired Tobin.” Alex lightly touched Tobin’s hands, hoping for a moment of connection. The midfielder stopped and held her hands. It was the most contact they had had in weeks. Before anything more happened they returned to Katie’s room and Alex was immediately by her side. When it was time for radiation Alex asked if she could go and Tobin didn’t argue, she was happy to stay with her little man. 

 

When they came back, Katie was hooked up to her chemo drip. Tobin informed Alex that this was when things would start to get bad for her, and that she and Michael were going to go hang out for a while. She took the boy around the hospital, introducing him to the various people she had met in her time there. When they ran into Dr. Robbins, she was happy to show them around and reveal all the cool things a little boy would love. After a little while the doctor’s pager went off and Tobin could tell something was off as she follower her to Katie’s room. The girl was throwing up and tears of pain were shooting down her face. 

 

It took a little while, but they eventually got Katie comfortable again and Tobin and Alex began getting her cleaned up while Dr. Robbins took Michael. Once they were done, they got Katie back in bed and hooked up to the machines. Tobin gave her more medicine and then she and Alex took a walk. The midfielder could see Alex was shaken up and she pulled her into a hug. Alex broke down her wife’s arms, and Tobin held her as her own walls were breaking down. 

 

 

     “Bye Mommy.” Michael kissed Tobin and then went to Katie to say good bye. It was the end of their weekend and they were leaving to go back to Portland. They hoped they would be reunited within the next week or two. 

 

The next week was difficult on Tobin with all the arrangements that she had to start making and Katie fighting her cancer. This was her last week of treatment, but she had a long road of recovery ahead of her. Tests were constantly being done on the girl and Tobin was constantly watching over her, giving her medicine and treating her symptoms. As Katie finished her last round of chemo, she lay on Tobin’s chest, playing with her wedding ring. “Mommy, are we going home soon?” 

 

     “I sure hope so baby.” Tobin replied. “We have some tests that need to be done after this is done and then we’ll see what Dr. Robbins says. I tell you what, when this last treatment is done what do you say you and I watch a movie."

 

The test results came back and the numbers weren’t great, but they weren’t too bad. Dr. Robbins told them the plan to get Katie healthy again back at their home, then they would come back once a month for six months before they would start another series of treatments. As they laid in Katie’s bed, Tobin was thankful they’d be going home. Things were still going to be difficult but at least they could do it as a family. 

 

As the weeks and months passed not a lot had changed. Michael was back in school and Katie was still at home, struggling to get back to her old self. She was still just a wisp of what she used to be and she spent days in and out of the hospital as she recovered, but she did seem to be getting a little better every day. Alex and Tobin were doing better and were able to do things together with a more open line of communication. 

 

     “Can you believe we are where we are Tobs?” The parents were holding each other as they cuddled on the couch with a glass of wine. It was Thanksgiving and they watched their children playing on the floor with their aunts and uncle. Dinner had been a little interesting, but all in all it was a perfect day after the months they had had. 

 

     “I know it’s been a rough time.” Tobin responded, kissing Alex on the forehead and going back to watching the family. “But I’m so thankful to be here with you, Lex."

 

A few minutes later they saw Katie sit on the floor in exhaustion as she began coughing. The coughs were violent and didn’t stop, soon causing her to bleed. Tobin rushed to her, closely followed by Alex. From there, their world passed in slow motion.

 

They got to the hospital and Katie was taken immediately to figure out what was going on. The women waited in the lobby for hours until a doctor came and told them that Katie had been compromised from all her treatments and now it was possible there was another tumor. Tobin was immediately on her phone trying to contact their preferred doctor. The next day they left Michael with their family and the three of them left for Seattle. 

 

     “I wish I could say it was good to see you ladies.” Dr. Robbins said when she saw them walk into the hospital. Tobin was carrying Katie and Alex had some bags as they were lead to a room. After some testing they found that there was a mass in her abdomen that was causing the bleeding and the cancer was spreading to the girl’s bones so they would need to consider a bone marrow transplant. 

 

     “I want to do it.” Tobin was quick to volunteer for the procedure. “If I am able to donate I will do it."

 

As she got tested, the midfielder wondered how they could be back here again so soon. It was supposed to be over until after Christmas, but they couldn’t get that lucky. Dr. Robbins returned and informed them that Tobin was match and would be good for the donation. “We will start Katie on a very intense round of chemotherapy to clear out the unhealthy cells. After about a week we will go in and do the procedure. Tobin, I want to start you on some injection meds to make you stronger and get healthier cells. Oncology should be in here soon to start the chemo."

 

The next week was a blur with all the different treatments and caring for Katie during chemo. By the day of the procedure, the women were running on fumes. Tobin said goodbye to her family and left with the medical staff, trying to keep her nerves at bay. The blonde doctor sensed the unease and tried to talk through it. “Tobin, this is Dr. Bailey. She will be collecting the bone marrow today."

 

Talking calmed the midfielder down some and they made it into the operating room. Before they put her under, she grabbed the doctor’s hand, “Listen, I need you to do whatever you have to do to get what we need for Katie. I don’t care how much it will hurt, do whatever it takes. And Dr. Robbins, please take care of my daughter."

 

     “Mama, did I make Mommy sick?” Alex was shocked by the question and wondered why she asked it. “Why is Mommy with the doctors now too if she isn’t sick?"

 

     “Katie-Kat, Mommy is doing something to help you.” Alex explained. “She is giving something she has and they are going to put it in you to make you stronger.” Just then Dr. Robbins and Dr. Bailey came in with the bone marrow and hooked it up to Katie’s central line. “How’s Tobin?"

 

     “She is in recovery now and should be awake in a little while.” Dr. Bailey informed her. “Your wife is fighter. She made us take everything we needed no matter what. We had to go in four places so she is going to be pretty sore for a while and she’ll need to take it easy to get better."

 

     “Well I guess it’s a good thing we are in a hospital so you guys can help me out.” She laughed at her wife’s stubbornness. The doctors left and Alex sat with Katie while the new marrow flowed into her veins. “You hear that baby, your Mommy is going to be just fine and hopefully this will work."


End file.
